My mother's solutions

I was soooo naughty when I was younger,noisemaking,troublemaking,being rude to some teachers and trust Mama Tinu to come up with the worst punishments that I never forgot!Pls do not try this on your children(Solomonsydelle) or suggest it to any parents!I still love my mommie no matter what!!!
1)The day I decided to throw her food away in the bin, the ogbono soup that she cooked with all her power, she told me to eat it from the bin, and she meant it, I begged and begged even the plumber begged till she greed o!
2)She has made me sleep on a mat for hitting my brother(the brat)
3)The day I lied she beat me with omorogun(the stick for turning eba) till it broke!
4)One of the worst punishments ,was the day I was REALLY RUDE to a teacher my mother cut my hair, told me to go and tell the bus driver that I was going to school, she enrolled me in Nigerian public school those ones by Osbourne estate, paid my school fees for that day 500 naira! I got flogged the first day of school for noise making!!!chale!!
5)she locked my brother and I in the bathroom for fighting guess what? we made up and started playing with water!
6)there was one week that I ate brown ogi(pap,akamu) for a whole week cos I called her food rubbish!!

7) To make her feel bad I used to write on paper that she hated me and loved my brother more than me!!and she used to feel so bad and come and beg me and quote bible passages about spare the rod and all that ish to me!well I used to do this You hate me note a bit tooo much and she just started ignoring me!!! and tearing the notes!
8)Pick-pin!when u balance Ur body on a finger and one leg and if you changed it a hot slap came with the wind
9) When I was 6 years old I decided to use her red nail polish on my nails she told me
'lo fi obe isu shi kini yen ni sin sin" go and use the knife used to cut yam to take it off! ki a mosa were were
10) she punished us by telling us to write 500 lines, sometimes with the same color of Biro or 3 colours
I will always eat what is given to me
I would never be rude to my elders
11) My brother and I planned to run away together and she found out from the househelp, our punishment was to sit outside with the gate man, we did sit outside played,chased chickens and ate sweets from his stall!
12)I forgot my math textbook in school and I had a test the next day she made me use okada to my friends house in dolphin!!!MY REP!!!!!!thank God nobody saw me
13) there was another time she made me take bus to school one week the driver was right by me though!i cried every single morning on that bus
14)My brother left his shoes,school bag and books in school one day while palying football, her solution was for him to use patanla(the yellow and black nylon bag with stripes) as his school bag, and wear those green dunlop slippers to school!!!!
15)My brother wasn't doing well in his school! her solution take him to a Nigerian public school for a week, buy the uniform, after that they boy became an A student!!!
Pls know that Mama Tinu doesn't do such anymore cos she neither has the time nor the strength and I'm not there anymore!!!hehe
But we are best of friends, and yes she is the best mother that I could have ever asked for cos no one in the world would love me the way my mommie does!
So tell me what was that thing your momma did to you to make you realise that AYE YE O PE MEJI!(there are two sides to this life)




Tinu
xxx