Thursday, March 18, 2010

Amuka and Atole

Hi guys

cheeeiii its been to long on this blogger sef, I don't even feel guilty again cos all bloggers are on twitter. hehehe well I do feel kinda guilty cos blogger was my first love after facebook
On the 11th was my blogversary woohoo a whole year blogging and its been wonderful I remember my first post and how I used to refresh the post every 5minutes to see if anybody had dropped a comment, and I also used to spam people's comment boxes! cheeei I don try
I'm sure most of you are familiar with the terms Amuka and Atole
Amuka means one that sucks his/her fingers
Atole( one that pees on the bed)

I was an Amuka, I really don't know at what age i started sulking my two fingers yes o two fingers, but at that time it was the best thing that could ever happen to me.
It was like a drug, when I was deep in sleep my mom or dad would come and take it out of my mouth and the fingers would go right back
They tried all the tricks in the book rubbing pepper on the fingers rubbing the fingers with bitterleaf( i died so damn bitter duh) I would just take my toothbrush and tooth paste and brush my fingers to remove the taste of the pepper or the bitterleaf! and the fingers went back in. I was bad abi? (soap and water didnt do justice and it just destroyed the sulking experience)
Mama Tinu resorted to all sorts I would tell your friends in school you sulked but whenever she passed that Corona gate she just forgot.
Finally Mama Tinu was fed up with my sulking and one day decided to tie one of my fingers with that black celotape the rubber one and she said "If you take it off, you would sleep out side beside the maygauard" and you guys know that Mama Tinu don't play! so had the masking tape on for the weekend, she finally took it off and then my finger, was black cos she tied the tape on too tight and blood wasnt flowing to my nail, so the nail fell off and I just stopped sulking. I stopped sulking when I was 10, and then the years after braces!

The atole in our house was my younger brother he just couldn't stop peeing, and it drove my parents mad especially my dad. and whenever they asked him :why dont you get up in the middle of the night when you feel like peeing and go to the bathroom?" His response was that when he wanted to be he always dreamt that he was in the bathroom, so he just peed!
this went on for a couple of years and trust the masters of punishment Mama and Papa Tinu to come up with the worst
My brother slept on mats, cos the mattress had started to stink and the boy still peed on the floor.
Flogged him but still didn't stop him from peeing
He spent a night in the bathroom, yup he slept there, at least that night he didn't pee hehehe
After a while my parents just gave up and he just stopped peeing!
So were any of you atoles or amukas?? tell your story!

Have a fab week

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Getting my blog Mojo back

Hi guys
cheii its been too long
theres just tooo much going on with school and work(yes o I'm now part of the labour force which reminds me I can now call my parents by their name, they said I could when I got a job I keed I keed)
seriously I'm at work blogging o, and its only my second day God please don't let them fire me I promise not to blog again just let me finish this post.
So on thurday went to get my nails done and there this little girl that comes in with her mom to get her nails done, yes people she got a manicure and the works ( i sound like all these village women bt should girls at age 7 be getting manicures???i think not)
lets just say I remebered when I decided to pain my own nails (you see you people its when I see something that I can relate to that is when I decide to blog) so I painted my nails with this bright red colour and trust my gangsta mother to flip I was abt 7 at the time
Mama Tinu: Ki n to laju mi lo fi obe isu fa nail polish yen (before I open my eyes go and use the knife for cutting yam to scrape off the nail polish)
well after the crying and mommie I'm sorry and it would never happen again and I would never use nail polish till I'm 21 she let me use nail polish remover and lets just say I fianlly got approval to paint my nails and shape my eyebrows when I finished secondary school just in time for prom.(yes I had prom)
*Can you guys remember when we first started reading, getting ready for primary school
Queen's premier
We go up, up we go
the cat is fat
the fat cat sat on the mat
* Ali and Simbi , Ali goes to school and the other stories
*Simbi and her puff puff hair
*Brighter Grammar
*and pls why did some teachers just use us to catch trips telling us to march to class leeefff riiiiiii lefff riiiiiii forward march waaan twoo.
*when we got to class we would start reciting 2 times table to 12 times table, states and capitals, masculine and feminine, word and opposites and the likes
* when a teacher walked in to class
class captain: class greeet
class: GOOOOOOOOOODDDMOOOOORRRRRRRNING Mr Ugbodu( my math teacher in Corona)
*end of school song Good bye teacher good bye friends good bye everybody we are going home!

PS the Nigerian Blogger Awards is coming up so pls just keep you eyes and ears, laptop and computers Open!!hehehe
Blogsville your girl is back
have an awesome week

Friday, January 22, 2010

Risikat Tours and Travels Part 2

Ladie and Gentumen

We are Risikat Tours and travvus are soo sorry for the break in transmisshun, hasually there was a prooblem with the hengine ko de fe start, so we just hafe to call owa sista compnee to come and gife hus hanother buzz, so as now the new buzz as come izz a bit smaller than owa hold buzz so eferybody just hafe to queez themself,

*everybody enters the bus and there is another passenger still waiting to be seated*

Oya o, slim haunty oya let someone to lap you, we have sometin fery specaillay for you as we have inconvient you e moh binu

Oya huncuu oya enter, eeehnnnn some people should dress ni let there be space, eheeeen we can now continue owa tour

Hasually this bus there is no hair conditioner so we juzz have to hopen owa window so dat we can be having some fresh hair, also for heveryone to be able to rememba owa tour we are giving eash and hevery one of you hand fan, tanks so mush for your co operation

We are now about to continue from where we stop

Oya Mussssiiii start engine yen o jare broda mi

So the last time we stopped at Tarzan boats, as you can seee some places have been cleared it used to be a mini market maroko market
also we see a lot of construction, the Lagos government wasnt to make the Lekki-Epe expressway mush bigger as soo many people are moving to the Lekki Area dazz why there is soo mush of go-slow
Ehen , so on the left we have Mobee peshrol stashun and also nest to this peshroo statshun is their eeed hoffice, yes this biiiiding dat have so much of glass.

then on the right side we have cactus restoorant ear in this plaize they sarver fery fery nice food bi hice cream,poraro ships and shicken and awon mede mede

as you can see coming up is a block of flats dizz plaize use to be one taasan and four all owa gofment workers used to live here before before

up next we have the civic centre dizz another naize place if u wanna do parry or suntin it is hasually overlooking the lagoon warra

right beside ear we haf Nigeria Law school, this is the school all the sharge and bail, corporate and all kin of lawyers come to like exactly this is a school for lawyers that want to practice law

Ok people Im sooo sorry i havent blogged since last year exams,travelled home for christmas had a blast and err the internet wasnt reall suitable for blogging effectively

Oh well

I'm back



have an awesome weekend!