Thursday, April 30, 2009

In a very lame attempt to change my major this is what I did!!

She opened her NYSC letter,and read that she had been posted to Jalingo, Taraba State
"Biko where the hell is that on the map of Nigeria?" She called her driver Pius, who was only 100% efficient when there was food in his stomach "Pius please put on the AC in the car we are going out"
Tonye is a recent graduate from Brown University, honours in Human Resource Management, she was everything a man wanted in a woman she could cook, was smart, respectful, God fearing, could pass as Kim K in a darker color.
Tonye went off to the NYSC office in Surulere, met some officers and bribed her way out of Jalingo, the officers there made her recharge their phones with credit, buy them "tailstte fry shicken', and "orobo pepsi", she also had to pay them for their "hard work".

Took them an hour to get back to the island because of the mad traffic from Lere to VI.
She worked in the Mobil Head Office, the tall building on Ozumba Mbadiwe.
After wading herself through the traffic, she wasn’t pleased when her boss told her there was a meeting and they were going to need files from the 11th floor. The last person she wanted to see that morning was her colleague Mr Abraham, he had just walked into the elevator , a colleague who constantly teased her wanting to marry her and take her to his village, she teased him about how thin he was and how she couldn't put on the ac or the fan when he came to her office so he won't fly away.That was where it stopped.Nothing more than colleagues.He got off on the 6th floor
5 floors left she thought to herself "this elevator is SO damn slow"

She hadn't spoken to her sweetheart Uche in a whole month, she missed him, she met him at a party a few months ago when she had just moved to Naij, he wasn't the best looking guy out there but he was a real sweetheart, he was 6 years older than her and wanted to settle down,he was someone who she could pour out her heart,a good friend a bit overprotective but aren't all men that way she thought
Of all the things in the world, Her wanting to go to grad school was the basis for a huge argument, he didn't want her to go 'cause his mother didn't go to university he didn't want her to challenge him, he even wanted her to stop working he wanted her to be a housewife he wanted her to be just like his mother.
After all the money her father paid and walking to school in the freezing cold he wanted her to be a housewife, God forbid well she wasn't going down without a fight,but nonetheless she still loved him.
He " was in like with her." He loved the fact that she was a virgin and said he was going to wait till their wedding night before they had sex, and she had almost the same qualities as his mother.
Getting to the 11th floor she could hear moaning, she thought she was hallucinating about her forthcoming sex with Uche on their wedding night , but it wasn't, this was real, she had heard this sound before, her roommate in university who always had sex! arrrggghhhh she cringed, hearing other people moan pissed her off!
She went about her business, got the files and decided to leave, but the spirit of amebo had engulfed her, she just had to know who these people were...........

Ok so I want to know how did I do??????
grade over me over 10!!!!
Should I really chnage my major!I enjoyed writing this or maybe its because I'm just frustrated!!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Aaaaarrrgggghhh, Career Search and other stories

I'm sooo mad right now,

Got my results today and I have to resit 2 exams!

I swear sometimes I think I'm just not supposed to be in uni

I'm supposed to be back in corona nursery with Miss Tokolo and Miss Bamgboye in Nursery 1 red coloring, having naps, preparing for valentine concert, playing with sand, and not caring about anything!

Oh well I'm here and I have to deal with it!

2exams to read for in 2weeks!not cool!!!and then immediately after the 2 exams then I start classes 2courses in 6weeks!!

Na who send me come school sef??

If I say I want to be an actress- odikwa risky cos I'm too shy

muscian- Lets leave that one!I can sing!well Mama Tinu forced me to join the choir and the choirmaster put me in Soprano!(I'll think about music)

Rapper- I can hip hopnize blah blah baah sheep and Humpty dumpty??

Nurse- I would cry if I was supposed to give people shots!scared of blood!and then I have to be wicked like some Nigerian nurses that use ur nyash and Injection to play dart!!God forbid!

Infact lemme even Jist una about my experiences with Nigerian Nurses

hmmmmn una too like jist sef!

Ok so when I was younger I had really bad asthma and I was a regular at the hospital!

Nurse:NO neublizer(asthma machine that gives oxygen, cant expalin further but sha u get) today o, we have to give you an injection

Tinu:*starts jumping to prove she's healthy* Im feeling better now ma, there's no need mommie lets go home o!I haven't done my assignment and I have a test tomoro!Oya Mr Adeleke e lo gbe moto wa je ma lo le(Mr adeleke(driver go and bring the car so we can go home )

Nurse;My freeeen would u pull down ur trozziz?

Tinu;*starts crying* I'm ok, I would never ever put on the ac again, no more cold water for me !please ma, im sorry

Momsie:Oya lets count from one to hundred and it would be over

Nurse:Pls I dnt have time o!!!(its 3am in the morning)tschewwwwww

to cut the story short I ran all round that hospital, and they had to call security to hold me!!!4 of them!I was/am very strong o!! I screamed the hospital down, and told the nurse and security how I was going to report them to my daddie!

the woman she threw the injection into my bum!and I felt better but it was swollen!t

then home to Momsie's remedy for swollen bums to rub with ice!It even hurt more than the injection sef!!

back to me looking for a career , gosh I deviate too much good or bad??
Doctor-school too much school infact and then I have to have ugly handwriting(was it me or Nigerian doctors have NASTY handwriting??)i knew I was getting injection when they wrote on yellow paper,and the tears would start from there

O well off to study(yuck) won't b here for a while!might drop by some blogs tho!

Unhappy Tinu

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

There is blood flowing in my caffeine stream

Hey People,
Thanks soo much for the birthday wishes and prayers for success in my exams!!God bless all of you
Birthday was the crappiest ever!!spent it studying!but all the facebook messages and calls and texts and blog comments made me happy though.
I'm done exams now and Lord know that I need a miracle, Math the stumbling block in my life wasn't the best!,blanked out for an hour in my accounting exam, and the exam was supposed to be for 2hours!
Let me not even bore you with my exams!
How have you all been???
Loving the African Women blog by the way and every body's views on friendship
As you can tell, I have nothing to blog about!so I'm going to end this here!
Would be back soon hopefully!
I'll leave you with some funny facts bout life,and some funny proverbs enjoy!

Character is what you are.Reputation is what people think you are

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Drive carefully It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located, among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven’t got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

and funny quotes

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."- Robert Frost"Life is pleasant.

Death is peaceful.It's the transition that's troublesome."-unknown

"Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.-unknown"

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop."-unknown"

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them."-unknown

Forgive your enemies but remember their names."-unknown"

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity."- Albert Einstein


Friday, April 17, 2009

And I turned 20!

this is me 20yrs ago!

Hey People
Thanks sooo much for commenting on my last posts!Exams are stressing me out so I really don't have time to reply nor comment on your blogs but I will as soon as exams are done!
Twenty years ago Mama Tinu was in Lagoon Hospital Marina trying to get Tinu out, Papa Tinu was nowhere in sight, infact the nurses thought that man who brought my mother to the hospital was my daddie, alas he was the driver.Papa Tinu's excuse for not being at the hospital where I was born ''so that you would no drink garri for the rest of you life" he was at a business meeting!! ,fortunately for of him, the business meeting went well and I drink garri once in a while!!
My birthday, has started off wonderfully, messages and fone calls fb messages even from the boy that cracked(not broke) my heart,I thank God for letting me see another year, and by His grace I would see many more,for giving me the best family and friends and the most wonderful blogsville family a girl could ask for!And happy birthday to my darling cousin Mona LOVE AND MISS YOU LOADS!hope u all enjoy the video and it brings back a lot of memories Happy birthday in advance and in arrears to all the bloggers born in April!

PS hope u enjoyed the video and it brought back memories!!



Wednesday, April 8, 2009

School shoes and other stories

Hey people
I really do apologize for not replying all the comments on my previous posts!!been mad busy with school!!!

Bata mi a dun ko ko ka

Tin ba kawe mi bata mi a dun ko ko ka

I hope you all remember that song?

So I want my bata to do ko ko ka o!!Infact talking about shoes!

Momsie used to punish me with them o!!! my brother and I got school shoes every school year, this time she made me only me o!repeat the same school shoe and school bag!kai

and everybody was rocking their mudd shoes and spice girls school bag and pencil case!I then decided to spoil the shoe,I even gave it to my brother to practice his football skill, at least when he becomes a footballer he has me to thank!!!hehe

The shoe finally got spoilt, she made me wear it for a week!then she sent me and one lady for her office to buy me new schools from TJ !!!okay okay TEJUOSO!!don't be looking at me with small eye o!If you had seen the shoe ehn!They looked like Christian louboutins for kids!!

Ok Is it me or did those IBO BOYS! that sold stuff in Tejuosho always want you to buy something!!!

You might just hear,

"Aunty , Aunty I have yaa saize!!"
"Bebeh this shoe was made for you, when you shoook it with some naize denim co (jeans)hmmn eazi o"
and this shoe is sooo damn tight!
"Aunty make I just run go awa store go check for anoda one, no go o!"
"No worry as you go dey wear the shoe e go dey ezpand"
Then if you try on the real size that they bought
all the other Ibo boys that have stores around
"hmmn omalicha",
"Bebeh as you dey so I just wan marry you"
"this shoe was made for you Aunty"
Just tell them that your feeling hot,
they can even take off their shirts to fan you!!!now that is customer service, not all these awon iran nu telling me that their store is about to close!!!and I would have to excuse them till tomorrow!!tschewwww

"Nne my tings are from Emelika come shek iriout!!!!"
then if you don't buy anything from them , the insults you would receive ehn!
"See as the girl wowoh abeg comot joh, seee ha skeeeet sef,monkeh!"
See how I went from singing nursery rhymes, to school schools to Tej, then to Ibo boys!

Ok I'm not going to be blogging regularly cos I have exams coming up!but I'll definitely be checking in on all you wonderful bloggers!
Best of luck to all of you that have exams!!!

Sunday, April 5, 2009


Hey People,

Is it just me or when you go to church after not attending for a long time, you feel lighter, like so much load has been taking off your chest??

Well just got back from church and I feel so much better!!!so many things have been bothering me lately, school,money, self esteem etc!and then while we were singing its like, everything just made sense, like I felt a lot better about everything, it was like I was walking on clouds!!!

Today,being Palm Sunday we talked about Jesus entry into Jerusalem,and how he was celebrated by everybody. Lemme not start rambling

Basically what I took from Church today was


So basically, we would definitely have to suffer(chale) before we experience Glory, Jesus obeyed God, doing everything he did for us, and also dying for us.that is why he is sitted today at the right hand of God. Just like diamonds, go through the process of being scratched, and bruised and battered, we as humans have to go through that before we experience true Glory!

Can I get an Amen?

I realised before and even more today , that life isn't a bed of roses, and it isn't going to be anytime soon. People would definitely hate you and talk about you, and beittle you just to make you feel worthless remember that your in the process of becoming your own diamond!

things might not always go the way you want them to go,remember that God is in control and that your in the process of becoming you own diamond!!!

your future might be looking the way you want it to look, your in the process of becoming your own diamond

money, health and relationship issues might be bothering you right now, but you are in the process of becoming your own diamond!

hope I made sense!!!

so to all diamonds in the making reading this,its going to take a while, but with time, you will definatley shine( I rhymed)

have a wonderful week



Friday, April 3, 2009

Jesus take the truck

Hey people,
In addition to me contesting for next year's most intellectual blogger, I would also want to add the blogger that always comes first!!yes o I'm taking over from Temite o!!yep I'm the new broom that has come to sweep Temite away!!I was first on Solomonsyelle,Vera,MissFlyHigh,B.muffin,OriginalMgbeke,Buttercup and Chari and Kemberly,yes I recorded, all the times I shouted first!!!teeheee
Oh so I was reading my sign out book a few days ago, and them came acroos "Best group" page!!
do you guys remember that group called LXG??League of Extraordiary Gentlemen, well my friends and I decided to form a group called GIRLS WITH EXTRAORDIANRY JOKES!ok so the group was formed out of boredom,a group of girls who were bored, during class, during punishments(another story),when nothing exciting was happening in school or in class.Instead of us to carry our exam focus and read o!mba this was what we decided to do! People laughed at us and at our jokes, but you see GXJ is getting their own share of the www!!tschewwww
so here are a few of the many extraordianry jokes!!
1)many are called but few are ......flashed
2)why is the sun the ultimate source of energy because it drinks gulder
3)where is the love oh I forgot you are not one of the blackeyed peas!
4)Chiamaka:who are you taking to prom?
Tinu:I dnt know
Chiamaka: I'm coming with a calendar
Tinu:that means you're coming with 365 dates!!!
5)If they have fought the gulf war why haven't they fought the tennis war?
6)what is the difference between jlo and Jeniifer Lopez?Eniffer Pez
7) why did the antelope cross the road??she went to see the uncle-lope
8)which book has muscles??exercise book
9)which musicain servers in ur church?Usher
10)how can i be sarcastic when my name is not saka tinubu

Ok we have all stopped saying jokes like this!Tinu HAS CHANGED!!lol
pls note tha not all the jokes were my idea just some!Went to an all girls school so we really didnt care! and we always laughed at the jokes o!!!my gosh!!!
Reading all this all I could say was Jesus take not the wheel but the truck!

have a great weekend!!