Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A Major Dilemma!

My people I havent forgoten I have a blog o!!

No way!!

Infact this weekend I promise another post just keep coming ehn!!

Got this from a friend and I thought I should share, yes I know lately I've been doing a lot of sharing why because God loves a cheerful giver ;o) and I have run out of things to write but not to worry imma put on my blogging cap this weekend and blog away!I hope!

September 1, 2008

The Area Manager

Dear Sir,


I am writing to you with a deep sense of humility and gentleness. I consider this a great opportunity to communicate with an entity as awe-inspiring as yourself. Firstly, I bring greetings to you from residents of my area in Lagos .As a dutiful citizen, I consider this letter as part of my civic responsibilities. Great countries comprise of citizens who are alive totheir responsibilities. As a famous musician once said, "Ask not whatyour country can eat from you but what you can eat from your country."I have benefited immensely from this country; therefore I have decidedto give back.I want to bring to your notice some strange occurrences which have been happening in my area. I want to sadly inform you that in the last 2weeks, electricity has been stable. In other words, we sleep and wake upwith electricity, we go to work and come back and electricity is still running. This is terribly new and I must add DANGEROUS development in the lives of residents of my area. This is something we are not used to.This is too much electricity for us to handle. In the first week ofc onstant electricity, I started acting strangely. I ironed all myclothes because I didn't know when 'light' will be impounded on your orders.

After 2 days, the 'light' was still there. Therefore, I proceeded to re-iron the ironed clothes. My fridge which had not seen '4hours' of constant light for months suddenly started freezing. In order to enjoy the maximum effects of refrigeration, I have decided to be drinking 20 cups of cold water before I go to sleep. Once I finish a cup, I put the bottle back into the fridge. After 10 minutes, the watercools and I drink. I just don't know what to do.

All the Ceiling fans in my house have been switched on alongside my AC.

My deck is playing at a high level. My life is now in state of chaos because of constant'light'.

My TV and VCD player are complaining of high blood pressure, as they have been terribly overworked in the last few weeks.

Half of mylight bulbs have gone on strike to protest their resurrection from blissful death.

All the customers in the beer parlour beside my house are complainingthat the beer is too cold and wants to destroy their teeth.

Even the rats and cockroaches are complaining that human assailants find iteasier to track and exterminate them under electric light than under candlelight

.All the witches and wizards that regularly visited me in my sleep havesuddenly taken flight in the presence of "light". Now I have to review my membership of MFM ( Mountain of Fire and Miracles) since their workhas been done.

Can you imagine what will happen to the membership ofchurches if constant 'light' persists? No more demons meaning No more offerings.

With the above situation not abating, I decided to seek the reason behind this strange situation. This task was made easy for me when Irealized that it was the work of saboteurs. Sabotage is the main reason for anything going wrong / right in our country. Our elections were sabotaged, our president's health is being sabotaged.

Therefore this constant 'light' is the handiwork of saboteurs within your work system. These disgruntled individuals are enemies of progresswho want you to miss your set targets. These enemies want you to score very low on your KPI assessment. I realized this fact when I stumbled on a document showing your Key Performance Indicators for every month.

These are:

1. Explosive growth in the amount of Candle-lit dinners and balcony-bedrooms

2. Massive boom in the sales of Candles, torchlight?s, generators,inverters and lanterns

3. Increased work place productivity due to Employees spending at least16 hours at work because there is no light at home

4. Massive growth of Rock music fan clubs being aided by the endlesssound of generators that are switched on overnight.

5. Volume of human blood being sucked by mosquitoes unchallenged byceiling/standing fans

6. Incidence of heat rashes

7. Large Increase in naming ceremonies: When people have no light athome, what else do they do with their time other than "making babies"

Sir, I strongly feel that the above achievements will not be possible if we keep on having 'light'. The saboteurs in your workplace will make you look stupid and incapable in front of your bosses. The repercussions of this charade would be unbearable. This is why I am writing to you now.As a responsible citizen, if I do not volunteer this information, I know that I will be the one to suffer. The day you realize that I have been enjoying endless light for 2 weeks, you will pay me back with 2 blackmonths. The end will be worse than the beginning, thereof. I am at a crossroad. This is a major dilemma. Should I keep quiet? No I won't.This is because Evil triumphs when Good Men keep silent. Your incompetent staffs have left the light switch on and gone to sleep. I know you will take back all that we have stolen from you but Please remember my house in the day of recompense.Your humble servant


see why we have to and should Light up Nigeria

have a fantastic weekend people!




NaijaBabe said...

Ok now!!!
Lightupnigeria jo!

They never jam

Anonymous said...

absurdly entertaining i think....

Ms.O said...

#LightupNigeria!!! you this girl you followed me on twitter then unfollowed me...:( Hilarious shi!

Anonymous said...

i heard the light up stuff is working sha,thats what my mum said.

Sugarking said...

hehehe!!! this was nice to read sha.

Rene said...


Rene said...

this stuff had me cracking btw

Fabulo-la said...

Lool.. I made u blog?


But err..that was one long ass letter

Myne Whitman said...

LWKMD, the first time I saw this. NEPA oo, PHCN oo, they will never change!

Bubbles said...


honey91 said...

omg dat letter is so frigging funny!
lol at drinkin 20 cups of cold water...

Nice Anon said...

Quit disappearing. I see you have been good.

uNWrItten* said...

hahahaha LightupNIGERIA man!!! we got to do something bout this light wahala..


haha. You this babe, you are too much!


BSNC said...

you need to be flogged, how can you forget you have a blog. Take your time o..

lol yea light up nigeria, how are you by the way..

Original Mgbeke said...

LMAO, this was quite heelarious! LOL @ witches and wizards and rats and roaches. Funny!

Fragilelooks said...

Very Funny letter.

Fragilelooks said...

Very Funny letter.

Fragilelooks said...

Very Funny letter.

chayoma said...

Half of mylight bulbs have gone on strike to protest their resurrection from blissful death.


depuy hip recall class action said...

I've heard stories wherein some parts of the world has no electricity yet. Most of them are rural areas.